I’ve considered creating a viral video series called ”Fuck this Farm” similar to “This Old House” but where you describe how completely and utterly bewildering, tragic, frustrating and heartbreaking farm often is. I’ve been farming for over 15 years. I am 40, I’m sore and anxious all the time, I’m broke, have no savings and am trying everything I can come up with to help sustain the business-but at the end of the day I don’t think I can do it. I need more time money and labor that I can possibly acquire to work the little rocky pitiful land I have access to with continual water shortages. God help us.
Hey Eric, I feel ya brother. I’ve been farming since 1996 and at some point every year I want to quit. It is all I know how to do at this point. Well, that I can make a living from, that is. Writing is great, but so far it doesn’t pay the bills.
We did a successful farmers market and CSA for 18 years and dropped the market in 2024, hoping that our CSA members would stay with us. Most did, but after a very dry season last year, when we still managed to come up with excellent shares each week, about 25% quit, I mean people that had been members for years. One lady told us she wanted more choice, most just ghosted us. That has made us call the whole thing into question.
I still love the work, and being on my land, but hate the increasing financial risk, and my body is starting to pay the price for a lifetime of manual labor. Still, I see people my age that have had desk jobs their whole careers, and many are in much worse shape physically (but not financially).
It’s a lifestyle choice as much as it’s a job, so you have to decide whether it’s worth it and if you can afford to get out. Until then, tighten your belt, lift up your chin and be proud to be a farmer, even though you just have to say “fuck farming” at some point each day. Best of luck to you!
I feel one of the problems with CSAs is that the new people becoming aware of our unhealthy food are not aware of CSA’s. I’ve had to educate my friends on them. Maybe a program nation wide to educate people on how to get organic or regenerative farmed food is something small farms should be working on.
I'm right there with you. You put into words what many of us older, jaded and exhausted farmers think every single day.
I stopped milking 18 months ago after a bad injury and the loss of some of our small herd. It doesn't take much to put us under. We've been contemplating stepping away from farming and just getting back to small scale homesteading to feed ourselves. I can't completely stop, it's the blood in my veins.
I work for a family farm here in the UK, England near London, which is where most of our custim is. Our main line is orchard fruit and juice, but we sell mostly vegetables to our farmers' market customers. I won't talk about money or hanging in there, suffice to say all farms need a good relationship with their local bank managers. Here markets and organic ( or near organic ) is still pretty niche after all these years, only the big city has enough people to enable a 'weekly' farmers' market, and only in areas where people have a bit more money. Here markets would not exist without the patronage of our foreign, mainly European ( esp French ) customers, and when i hear those magic musical words: "see you next week!" It is more than likely from someone not born and raised here ( i have alot of American customers too ... ).
I'm not the farmer, it's not my business, but i froze my butt in winter living in a tatty trailor on their farm for 14 years, and know why many people do not work on farms aswell as pass over spending thier wages on such farm's produce.
I could sing the praises of buying the diverse and healthy 'seasonal' fruit and vegetables i sell at market all day however, aswell as the virtues of working on and for such farms, but it's not a part of our common culture anymore to even think where food comes from, it's only 'mainstream' cool when it's sitting pretty on a plate, or part of the list of colourful exotic shaped haul of ingredients, washed of mud and sign of irregularity of decay.
I'm not sure of the answer, but here as i'm guessing in the States, not enough people know about farming or work in farming, or value food.
I grew up in a world that.was.always one.step away from.nuclear armageddon, that had/has technology as the savour of civilization: canned, powderd and freeze dried.food, health and happiness only a tablet or jab away, and cool stuff with lasers and blinking lights and flying cars ( and killer robots ) .
Like many of us, i dont want to read the plans anymore to a 'Cyberpunk' distopian future, i want to read the 'Solarpunk' sustainable happy ever after. There just isn't many of us actually charting such a real future it seems. There is no quick fix, right? What is the long fix i wonder?
If you say: "those are the 'essentials'!" I think it a good place to start. So how can we provide those without chewing up the planet? I feel we need a new view of our present and future civilization as an 'urban' one, based on the 'city', and have more people considering oir future as a 'rural' one with more of us living in the countryside off of the land.
I'm still hoping to figure something out as I interview people, research and explore and write. Right now it seems that government subsidies that favor certain practices really sway the market -- i.e., gov $ for factory farms but not so much for small farms so that small farms have an incredibly hard time making ends meet and the privilege of farming on a small or medium sized farm is normally paid for with an off farm job. The gov't subsidies make factory food cheaper than it costs to produce, so small farms can't charge what it costs them to produce. That, in my mind right now, is the big broken thing. But do people want to pay what food actually costs to grow? I don't think so. So I got no answers. In the US, the gov't this year has just started giving grants for Regenerative Farming practices--whatever that means to them. Maybe this will help sway something? The problem is, living off the land only works if folks either have money already (or come from money) or are willing to do without a whole lot of expensive things (like health insurance, the dentist, and college tuition for their kids). I'm still learning and hoping to figure out where the solutions lie.
Oh Eric. I hate this but I know it is so true for many of you hardworking farmers. Just makes me sad that it is all so broken and held together by trust funds, grants and vapor. Sending you strength and love…and some miraculous windfall. ❤️🥴
Hit the nail on the head. After 13 years killing it, it almost killed me or my family rather.
The mandates were the proverbial straw but my ethics of not taking gov grants (like all my competition) were there too.
What I discovered after ‘quitting’ was how much of my children’s childhood I was missing out on. Now summers are sacred. I still grow food for us but also have time to enjoy the wilderness. A love of which drove me to the awakened farming. This is enjoyed hiking, canoeing, hunting, fishing and foraging with my kids. I have time to homeschool. My success as a grower built a reputation snd network that generated my work now, teaching and advising others how to grow food. 1/3 the hours and 8 times the pay.
When I sold my place in 2020 I pivoted to a low overhead lifestyle in an off grid blood donation bus and kept that alive for five years. Experiential education for kid and me.
Would it be accurate to say that capitalism isn't the problem but rather that governmental support/legal infrastructure mainly benefits MegaAg Inc. rather than small farmers/producers?
The Upper Midwest is full of the descendants of 'kulak' peasant farmers from Russia who fled when the anti-capitalist people seized their farms.
There are no descendants in Russia on account of the executions, starvation, and one-way tickets to the gulag.
Government support would be a good start. Massachusetts does a pretty good job, New York not so much. I don’t know about other states. Federal would be nice, but I’m not holding my breath.
“Would it be accurate to say that capitalism isn't the problem but rather that governmental support/legal infrastructure mainly benefits MegaAg Inc. rather than small farmers/producers?”
That is saying the same thing in two ways. The Nation State was developed alongside capitalism to purposefully keep wealth and power in as few hands as possible. Capitalism is the problem. Capitalism is rule by the few through the means of resource hoarding.
This is a state of consciousness issue. A value issue. A what is more important to you, a nextgen iphone or what you put in your dorito and coca cola soaked body issue.
Saying that some policies should be favored (small ag) over others (corn syrup ag) is a valuation.
The question will always be about which policies and practices are pursued. I don't think there needs to be some critical mass of opinion or Wendell Berry conversions before wanting policies changed.
And if we're waiting for the values of politicians to change, well, I'm not sure if that category applies to them.
I don't mind a soaking of Jack and Coke every once in a long while.
Big ag is literally poisoning soil. Water. Air. Indiscriminately. Period.
I reject the assumption that we need someone to tell us through policy what is right, fair and just.
And ag policy has never taken into account to cost of the ecocide it has elevated, nor the human cost of ‘get big or get out’ policies that have been the transparent name of the game since at least the 80s.
Imagine that there is a box where the farmers are too big to fail, they are protected from risk and they are handed a game plan for success within this box.
Then there is another box that says, that system isn't working and I can build something better, more authentic, more coherent - a bridge between people and the soil on which their lives depend, ultimately. Clean. Fair. But in this box, the producer absorbs all of the risk, worry, failure and success.
And here we find the difference between USDA policy and a CSA distribution.
The disconnect between these boxes is nearing a totality and scale that is invisible to some. It comes at the cost of relational community where people actually know one another and tend to that communities needs.
The practical role of the conventional farmer is relegated to shadow aspects that are divorced from meaningful stewardship, right relationship, and overly focused on money at the expense of living systems on which all life depends.
EQIP was build within this paradigm, taking the place of rural folks getting together to make what needed to happen, happen. And we were required to relinquish our agency, autonomy, and sovereignty to apply for grants that may or may not be fulfilled depending on the opinions and biases of the grant administrators--- which lean decidedly towards conventional, bio-cide driven agriculture.
Farm policy has failed farmers, the living ecology of this planet, and the human communities which depend on living food.
The question, from my perspective, is whether we are willing to look past the veil of the first box and decide for ourselves what our families, farms, and communities really need instead of looking to handouts from a system that was neither built for us, nor has our best interests at heart.
Adding myself to this thread of fucked farmers. I’m 16 years in on leased land and have all these same issues. Markets, kids, being broke. Constantly reinventing myself and wondering when I’ll actually make a living at this. Cheers brother.
Chapeau Eric! Ten years is a significant accomplishment as a farmer. The sentiments you share are felt by many in this life. We have to allow ourselves to define our own success. Money seems to be the measure in this culture. I think surviving into the next year/season and improving your farm are more realistic marks of success. Ignore the farmer/book writer group. They make their income from books and apperance fees to support their dabbling in farming.
I've been a "farmer" for many years past a decade. Started as a vegetable grower, but with the addition of sheep, cattle and poultry farm revenue improved. Our ability to produce exceeds our desire to slave for every dollar. Approaching my seventh decade I enjoy so much of what I do. Complaints don't acheive anything in addressing those things I don't like to do. I have found enjoyment in the proliferation in life on our farm. We are in the midst of lambing. This adds 20-30 new lives to the farm and an infusion of energy. Amongst the burdens on your farm where do you find joy?
I quit farming 1.5 years ago, and I'm so glad I did, but it was a heartbreaking decision to make, and I'm honestly still struggling a bit from the identity crisis it caused. You've summed up everything I've felt and have experienced during my decade of farming. We desperately need farmers, but I'm no longer willing to martyr myself.
Sorry you had to write this but glad you did! I am a vendor at many Upstate, NY farmer’s markets and I have always had respect (as a consumer) and gratitude to my small local farmers but I now see and understand, more than ever, their struggles. I’ve gotten creative, with my tiny budget, to direct my money to make purchases from my local farmers because I understand what’s at stake (my health, losing our beloved farmers and the environment, etc.). I’ve done my research and you are not kidding when you say the alternatives are scary; to having foods from our local farmers who care. THANK YOU for what you do; everyone should read this and I hope it gets the attention it deserves!
I greatly appreciate your brutal honesty and your work as a sustainable farmer. I am one of those dreams who want to help shift the status quo. We desperately need a paradigm shift. The factory farming system is extremely cruel to animals and workers, and it is trashing the environment. It needs to be dismantled. 99% of meat, dairy, poultry comes from that system. I can’t figure out if people continue supporting it because they don’t know where they don’t care.
Power comes in collaboration. Power back to the people, truth to power. We need to starve big ag and support regenerative farming. Funding needs to be funneled away from that extractive system and towards regenerative models: training and support for farmers, incentives for providing ecosystem services, rights of nature, environmental rights. More recently, my radar is on mental health support for farmers as I’ve heard it’s desperately needed. All things I’m working on as I try to continue to learn and collaborate with people that know far more than I do.
It is tough with this administration. Here, in Colorado we had a $25 million grant and the Department of Agriculture was doing an incredible job supporting regen ag then the Rollins USDA clawed it back. It was devastating. However, again, I want to help. My daughter‘s future is at stake as well as our own souls as we decide whether or not we’re going to be stewards of this blue pearl.
I hear your frustration. I can only imagine how hard it must be. What I will say is “Love Farmers.” and, no, if you are running a factory firm, you are NOT a farmer you’re an industrial manager of a cruel, inhumane industry.
Thank all of you farmers for all you’re doing. And please reach out if you want to chat. I would love to hear your voices.
Dude! OMG I so totally understand, in my bones, everything you just described. I farmed for a decade and never made a profit. We walked away 4 years ago. It was the hardest, saddest thing I've ever had to do. It took me years to shake it off. Not being a farmer is almost as hard as being one.
I grew up on a small regenerative farm in the Pacific Northwest. When I tell people that I see their eyes sparkle from the romance of it until I explain that not one of the five children who grew up on that farm have acreage and crops or animals because, fuck farming. Fuck getting up in the dark to check the fences, shovel the barns, collect the eggs, de-slug the gardens, reset the trellis (constantly). Fuck the mud, rain, frozen hands, rusty nails and the years when crop rotation meant going hungry. The only part I’d ever do again are the orchards.
Of the five kids I was the dumbest because I put in a veggie garden every year and suffered every year too-I even taught it to my kids. Now none of us even do that. It’s so damn non profitable and painful. Yet it IS The moral high ground. I’m not proud of what I just said, but I am realistic.
You mention elsewhere in the comments that there is a big difference between being a homesteader vs a farmer. If you’re ever feeling motivated, I’d love to hear more about the distinctions.
A homesteader has to grow for their family. They can focus all their time on growing the food that they like and need. They can grow different things from year to year based on their tastes and what works best with their climate and on their particular land. They can do things like process animals on site, because they don't have to follow USDA guidelines. I'm not saying being a homesteader is easy, and honestly besides the aspects of it that overlap farming, I've never been one, so I don't claim to speak for them in any way.
Both groups grow food, which requires hard manual labor, access to land, and submitting to the will of mother nature. In either case a flood or a cold snap or injury can be devastating.
A small sustainable farmer has several other whole worlds of pain in the ass to deal with though, that mostly revolve around selling the food. We have to identify the outlets to sell through, whether its wholesale, or farmers markets, or some sort of CSA model, or inventing some whole new thing that works. We then have to market our product. I hear stories of organic farmers forty years ago who just had to unfold a card table by the side of the road, and they couldn't put stuff out fast enough before it vanished. Literally the same farmers, now have to have a website, instagram, facebook, and booblenet (or whatever new fangled thing we have to learn every two years). We have to have a logo and print t-shirts (which can make more money than the food). We have to run CSAs and coordinate with people and shuck and jive with customers. We have to drive all over the fucking place making deliveries and picking up supplies. We typically have to focus in on a set of products to grow, which can make it easier, but also harder in certain ways. We need bigger equipment and more land. We have more regulations, inspectors, and public opinion to deal with. We have to know bookkeeping and accounting. We usually have to hire employees at some point or another, which is a big disgusting can of worms, that I have personally chosen to avoid(but that means I can only scale so large).
There's probably like 10 more things I'm missing, but safe to say it's really really different.
Even though sustainable farming as a business enterprise is a very different beast than homesteading, I suspect a lot of people in my echo-sphere (the collapse-of-industrial-civ-is-upon-us crowd) think of them as comparable. So I’m glad to hear that the most notable issues revolve
around the business side of things + scale. I’m rather certain that many loud, collapse-aware voices with large followings have determined that a simpler life is impossible or not worth it, so I appreciate the acknowledgement of the differences. I hate to see people making preemptive decisions about their future based on questionable assumptions from people who don’t know shit about growing food.
Given your hard won knowledge, if money was no issue and you “simply” needed to grow enough calories to keep your family alive, preferably on the smallest plot of land possible, do you think you could pull it off?
This is a bit of a rabbit hole, so if you don’t want to offer up an opinion I totally get it.
For years I joked that my business model was predicated on the apocalypse, but it’s less and less of a joke. I think I’m probably better prepared than 99% of Americans, and accordingly I don’t think any of us actually are.
I’ve considered creating a viral video series called ”Fuck this Farm” similar to “This Old House” but where you describe how completely and utterly bewildering, tragic, frustrating and heartbreaking farm often is. I’ve been farming for over 15 years. I am 40, I’m sore and anxious all the time, I’m broke, have no savings and am trying everything I can come up with to help sustain the business-but at the end of the day I don’t think I can do it. I need more time money and labor that I can possibly acquire to work the little rocky pitiful land I have access to with continual water shortages. God help us.
Hey Eric, I feel ya brother. I’ve been farming since 1996 and at some point every year I want to quit. It is all I know how to do at this point. Well, that I can make a living from, that is. Writing is great, but so far it doesn’t pay the bills.
We did a successful farmers market and CSA for 18 years and dropped the market in 2024, hoping that our CSA members would stay with us. Most did, but after a very dry season last year, when we still managed to come up with excellent shares each week, about 25% quit, I mean people that had been members for years. One lady told us she wanted more choice, most just ghosted us. That has made us call the whole thing into question.
I still love the work, and being on my land, but hate the increasing financial risk, and my body is starting to pay the price for a lifetime of manual labor. Still, I see people my age that have had desk jobs their whole careers, and many are in much worse shape physically (but not financially).
It’s a lifestyle choice as much as it’s a job, so you have to decide whether it’s worth it and if you can afford to get out. Until then, tighten your belt, lift up your chin and be proud to be a farmer, even though you just have to say “fuck farming” at some point each day. Best of luck to you!
I feel one of the problems with CSAs is that the new people becoming aware of our unhealthy food are not aware of CSA’s. I’ve had to educate my friends on them. Maybe a program nation wide to educate people on how to get organic or regenerative farmed food is something small farms should be working on.
this whole article is about why you hate capitalism haha, it’s not really about farming at all.
Shhhhhhhhhhh
"enrichment of our soil with the blood of billionaires"
I read this and thought the same thing.
I'm right there with you. You put into words what many of us older, jaded and exhausted farmers think every single day.
I stopped milking 18 months ago after a bad injury and the loss of some of our small herd. It doesn't take much to put us under. We've been contemplating stepping away from farming and just getting back to small scale homesteading to feed ourselves. I can't completely stop, it's the blood in my veins.
I work for a family farm here in the UK, England near London, which is where most of our custim is. Our main line is orchard fruit and juice, but we sell mostly vegetables to our farmers' market customers. I won't talk about money or hanging in there, suffice to say all farms need a good relationship with their local bank managers. Here markets and organic ( or near organic ) is still pretty niche after all these years, only the big city has enough people to enable a 'weekly' farmers' market, and only in areas where people have a bit more money. Here markets would not exist without the patronage of our foreign, mainly European ( esp French ) customers, and when i hear those magic musical words: "see you next week!" It is more than likely from someone not born and raised here ( i have alot of American customers too ... ).
I'm not the farmer, it's not my business, but i froze my butt in winter living in a tatty trailor on their farm for 14 years, and know why many people do not work on farms aswell as pass over spending thier wages on such farm's produce.
I could sing the praises of buying the diverse and healthy 'seasonal' fruit and vegetables i sell at market all day however, aswell as the virtues of working on and for such farms, but it's not a part of our common culture anymore to even think where food comes from, it's only 'mainstream' cool when it's sitting pretty on a plate, or part of the list of colourful exotic shaped haul of ingredients, washed of mud and sign of irregularity of decay.
I'm not sure of the answer, but here as i'm guessing in the States, not enough people know about farming or work in farming, or value food.
I grew up in a world that.was.always one.step away from.nuclear armageddon, that had/has technology as the savour of civilization: canned, powderd and freeze dried.food, health and happiness only a tablet or jab away, and cool stuff with lasers and blinking lights and flying cars ( and killer robots ) .
Like many of us, i dont want to read the plans anymore to a 'Cyberpunk' distopian future, i want to read the 'Solarpunk' sustainable happy ever after. There just isn't many of us actually charting such a real future it seems. There is no quick fix, right? What is the long fix i wonder?
Yes. I want to know what the long fix is! Or even the medium fix. Hoping there is a fix.
I think what we need is, food, clothing and shelter(/community). That will fix the problems of hunger, the elements and security(and loneliness).
Should we put anything before that?
Those are the basics!
If you say: "those are the 'essentials'!" I think it a good place to start. So how can we provide those without chewing up the planet? I feel we need a new view of our present and future civilization as an 'urban' one, based on the 'city', and have more people considering oir future as a 'rural' one with more of us living in the countryside off of the land.
I'm still hoping to figure something out as I interview people, research and explore and write. Right now it seems that government subsidies that favor certain practices really sway the market -- i.e., gov $ for factory farms but not so much for small farms so that small farms have an incredibly hard time making ends meet and the privilege of farming on a small or medium sized farm is normally paid for with an off farm job. The gov't subsidies make factory food cheaper than it costs to produce, so small farms can't charge what it costs them to produce. That, in my mind right now, is the big broken thing. But do people want to pay what food actually costs to grow? I don't think so. So I got no answers. In the US, the gov't this year has just started giving grants for Regenerative Farming practices--whatever that means to them. Maybe this will help sway something? The problem is, living off the land only works if folks either have money already (or come from money) or are willing to do without a whole lot of expensive things (like health insurance, the dentist, and college tuition for their kids). I'm still learning and hoping to figure out where the solutions lie.
Oh Eric. I hate this but I know it is so true for many of you hardworking farmers. Just makes me sad that it is all so broken and held together by trust funds, grants and vapor. Sending you strength and love…and some miraculous windfall. ❤️🥴
Hit the nail on the head. After 13 years killing it, it almost killed me or my family rather.
The mandates were the proverbial straw but my ethics of not taking gov grants (like all my competition) were there too.
What I discovered after ‘quitting’ was how much of my children’s childhood I was missing out on. Now summers are sacred. I still grow food for us but also have time to enjoy the wilderness. A love of which drove me to the awakened farming. This is enjoyed hiking, canoeing, hunting, fishing and foraging with my kids. I have time to homeschool. My success as a grower built a reputation snd network that generated my work now, teaching and advising others how to grow food. 1/3 the hours and 8 times the pay.
Yeah. Missing out on your kid's childhood.
When I sold my place in 2020 I pivoted to a low overhead lifestyle in an off grid blood donation bus and kept that alive for five years. Experiential education for kid and me.
No regrets.
Congrats on making the switch.
Would it be accurate to say that capitalism isn't the problem but rather that governmental support/legal infrastructure mainly benefits MegaAg Inc. rather than small farmers/producers?
The Upper Midwest is full of the descendants of 'kulak' peasant farmers from Russia who fled when the anti-capitalist people seized their farms.
There are no descendants in Russia on account of the executions, starvation, and one-way tickets to the gulag.
Government support would be a good start. Massachusetts does a pretty good job, New York not so much. I don’t know about other states. Federal would be nice, but I’m not holding my breath.
“Would it be accurate to say that capitalism isn't the problem but rather that governmental support/legal infrastructure mainly benefits MegaAg Inc. rather than small farmers/producers?”
That is saying the same thing in two ways. The Nation State was developed alongside capitalism to purposefully keep wealth and power in as few hands as possible. Capitalism is the problem. Capitalism is rule by the few through the means of resource hoarding.
The origin of the nation state does not determine its future utility.
Capitalism seems to be the least worse system for agriculture that can exist within the industrial frame.
Practically every farmer in the Upper Midwest with a German surname is a descendent of the Russlanddeutsche that fled after the Bolsheviks took over.
The communist government's agriculture policies killed more Ukrainians than the current war ever will, even if it went on for 30 more years.
Capitalism is the least worst option for ag.
This is not a fucking policy issue.
This is a state of consciousness issue. A value issue. A what is more important to you, a nextgen iphone or what you put in your dorito and coca cola soaked body issue.
https://rootandreclamation.substack.com/p/the-soil-was-never-the-problem-the
Saying that some policies should be favored (small ag) over others (corn syrup ag) is a valuation.
The question will always be about which policies and practices are pursued. I don't think there needs to be some critical mass of opinion or Wendell Berry conversions before wanting policies changed.
And if we're waiting for the values of politicians to change, well, I'm not sure if that category applies to them.
I don't mind a soaking of Jack and Coke every once in a long while.
Your still advocating from the policy level.
Big ag is literally poisoning soil. Water. Air. Indiscriminately. Period.
I reject the assumption that we need someone to tell us through policy what is right, fair and just.
And ag policy has never taken into account to cost of the ecocide it has elevated, nor the human cost of ‘get big or get out’ policies that have been the transparent name of the game since at least the 80s.
There is zero chance that combines will be beat into plowshares any time soon.
Until fossil fuels deplete sufficiently--two generations?--we are left with policy and developing techniques and networks for the time after.
Policy can mitigate problems. The success of the EQIP no-till program is an obvious example.
Imagine that there is a box where the farmers are too big to fail, they are protected from risk and they are handed a game plan for success within this box.
Then there is another box that says, that system isn't working and I can build something better, more authentic, more coherent - a bridge between people and the soil on which their lives depend, ultimately. Clean. Fair. But in this box, the producer absorbs all of the risk, worry, failure and success.
And here we find the difference between USDA policy and a CSA distribution.
The disconnect between these boxes is nearing a totality and scale that is invisible to some. It comes at the cost of relational community where people actually know one another and tend to that communities needs.
The practical role of the conventional farmer is relegated to shadow aspects that are divorced from meaningful stewardship, right relationship, and overly focused on money at the expense of living systems on which all life depends.
EQIP was build within this paradigm, taking the place of rural folks getting together to make what needed to happen, happen. And we were required to relinquish our agency, autonomy, and sovereignty to apply for grants that may or may not be fulfilled depending on the opinions and biases of the grant administrators--- which lean decidedly towards conventional, bio-cide driven agriculture.
Farm policy has failed farmers, the living ecology of this planet, and the human communities which depend on living food.
The question, from my perspective, is whether we are willing to look past the veil of the first box and decide for ourselves what our families, farms, and communities really need instead of looking to handouts from a system that was neither built for us, nor has our best interests at heart.
Adding myself to this thread of fucked farmers. I’m 16 years in on leased land and have all these same issues. Markets, kids, being broke. Constantly reinventing myself and wondering when I’ll actually make a living at this. Cheers brother.
Chapeau Eric! Ten years is a significant accomplishment as a farmer. The sentiments you share are felt by many in this life. We have to allow ourselves to define our own success. Money seems to be the measure in this culture. I think surviving into the next year/season and improving your farm are more realistic marks of success. Ignore the farmer/book writer group. They make their income from books and apperance fees to support their dabbling in farming.
I've been a "farmer" for many years past a decade. Started as a vegetable grower, but with the addition of sheep, cattle and poultry farm revenue improved. Our ability to produce exceeds our desire to slave for every dollar. Approaching my seventh decade I enjoy so much of what I do. Complaints don't acheive anything in addressing those things I don't like to do. I have found enjoyment in the proliferation in life on our farm. We are in the midst of lambing. This adds 20-30 new lives to the farm and an infusion of energy. Amongst the burdens on your farm where do you find joy?
I quit farming 1.5 years ago, and I'm so glad I did, but it was a heartbreaking decision to make, and I'm honestly still struggling a bit from the identity crisis it caused. You've summed up everything I've felt and have experienced during my decade of farming. We desperately need farmers, but I'm no longer willing to martyr myself.
Sorry you had to write this but glad you did! I am a vendor at many Upstate, NY farmer’s markets and I have always had respect (as a consumer) and gratitude to my small local farmers but I now see and understand, more than ever, their struggles. I’ve gotten creative, with my tiny budget, to direct my money to make purchases from my local farmers because I understand what’s at stake (my health, losing our beloved farmers and the environment, etc.). I’ve done my research and you are not kidding when you say the alternatives are scary; to having foods from our local farmers who care. THANK YOU for what you do; everyone should read this and I hope it gets the attention it deserves!
I greatly appreciate your brutal honesty and your work as a sustainable farmer. I am one of those dreams who want to help shift the status quo. We desperately need a paradigm shift. The factory farming system is extremely cruel to animals and workers, and it is trashing the environment. It needs to be dismantled. 99% of meat, dairy, poultry comes from that system. I can’t figure out if people continue supporting it because they don’t know where they don’t care.
Power comes in collaboration. Power back to the people, truth to power. We need to starve big ag and support regenerative farming. Funding needs to be funneled away from that extractive system and towards regenerative models: training and support for farmers, incentives for providing ecosystem services, rights of nature, environmental rights. More recently, my radar is on mental health support for farmers as I’ve heard it’s desperately needed. All things I’m working on as I try to continue to learn and collaborate with people that know far more than I do.
It is tough with this administration. Here, in Colorado we had a $25 million grant and the Department of Agriculture was doing an incredible job supporting regen ag then the Rollins USDA clawed it back. It was devastating. However, again, I want to help. My daughter‘s future is at stake as well as our own souls as we decide whether or not we’re going to be stewards of this blue pearl.
I hear your frustration. I can only imagine how hard it must be. What I will say is “Love Farmers.” and, no, if you are running a factory firm, you are NOT a farmer you’re an industrial manager of a cruel, inhumane industry.
Thank all of you farmers for all you’re doing. And please reach out if you want to chat. I would love to hear your voices.
Not a dream, a dreamer. lol. May we still find time to chuckle. Peace out, y’all.
Dude! OMG I so totally understand, in my bones, everything you just described. I farmed for a decade and never made a profit. We walked away 4 years ago. It was the hardest, saddest thing I've ever had to do. It took me years to shake it off. Not being a farmer is almost as hard as being one.
I grew up on a small regenerative farm in the Pacific Northwest. When I tell people that I see their eyes sparkle from the romance of it until I explain that not one of the five children who grew up on that farm have acreage and crops or animals because, fuck farming. Fuck getting up in the dark to check the fences, shovel the barns, collect the eggs, de-slug the gardens, reset the trellis (constantly). Fuck the mud, rain, frozen hands, rusty nails and the years when crop rotation meant going hungry. The only part I’d ever do again are the orchards.
Of the five kids I was the dumbest because I put in a veggie garden every year and suffered every year too-I even taught it to my kids. Now none of us even do that. It’s so damn non profitable and painful. Yet it IS The moral high ground. I’m not proud of what I just said, but I am realistic.
You mention elsewhere in the comments that there is a big difference between being a homesteader vs a farmer. If you’re ever feeling motivated, I’d love to hear more about the distinctions.
A homesteader has to grow for their family. They can focus all their time on growing the food that they like and need. They can grow different things from year to year based on their tastes and what works best with their climate and on their particular land. They can do things like process animals on site, because they don't have to follow USDA guidelines. I'm not saying being a homesteader is easy, and honestly besides the aspects of it that overlap farming, I've never been one, so I don't claim to speak for them in any way.
Both groups grow food, which requires hard manual labor, access to land, and submitting to the will of mother nature. In either case a flood or a cold snap or injury can be devastating.
A small sustainable farmer has several other whole worlds of pain in the ass to deal with though, that mostly revolve around selling the food. We have to identify the outlets to sell through, whether its wholesale, or farmers markets, or some sort of CSA model, or inventing some whole new thing that works. We then have to market our product. I hear stories of organic farmers forty years ago who just had to unfold a card table by the side of the road, and they couldn't put stuff out fast enough before it vanished. Literally the same farmers, now have to have a website, instagram, facebook, and booblenet (or whatever new fangled thing we have to learn every two years). We have to have a logo and print t-shirts (which can make more money than the food). We have to run CSAs and coordinate with people and shuck and jive with customers. We have to drive all over the fucking place making deliveries and picking up supplies. We typically have to focus in on a set of products to grow, which can make it easier, but also harder in certain ways. We need bigger equipment and more land. We have more regulations, inspectors, and public opinion to deal with. We have to know bookkeeping and accounting. We usually have to hire employees at some point or another, which is a big disgusting can of worms, that I have personally chosen to avoid(but that means I can only scale so large).
There's probably like 10 more things I'm missing, but safe to say it's really really different.
Exactly this - and insurance costs
Thanks for the thoughtful response.
Even though sustainable farming as a business enterprise is a very different beast than homesteading, I suspect a lot of people in my echo-sphere (the collapse-of-industrial-civ-is-upon-us crowd) think of them as comparable. So I’m glad to hear that the most notable issues revolve
around the business side of things + scale. I’m rather certain that many loud, collapse-aware voices with large followings have determined that a simpler life is impossible or not worth it, so I appreciate the acknowledgement of the differences. I hate to see people making preemptive decisions about their future based on questionable assumptions from people who don’t know shit about growing food.
Given your hard won knowledge, if money was no issue and you “simply” needed to grow enough calories to keep your family alive, preferably on the smallest plot of land possible, do you think you could pull it off?
This is a bit of a rabbit hole, so if you don’t want to offer up an opinion I totally get it.
For years I joked that my business model was predicated on the apocalypse, but it’s less and less of a joke. I think I’m probably better prepared than 99% of Americans, and accordingly I don’t think any of us actually are.